Hidden Behind Eyelids, I Confessed My Sins Under A Black Spotlight

I’m a night owl, spreading my wings and wishing to shed these feathers for a few layers of soft skin just to make me feel a bit more alive. I’m severely lacking in the area of words, using so many and yet all I really say is nothing. This darkness feels like it’s absorbing me. Maybe this sense of silence is where we were all born. The unknown silence that floats above us just like the clouds that hide the stars. I need a shot of reality because I feel like I’m detaching from something; something very important. I am cigarette smoke, floating through the air. I bet you didn’t even notice I was there, but I’m a lethal dose of hydrogen cyanide. This is my departing; it feels like I’m letting go.

It’s hard to breathe, absolutely suffocating. I want to get rid of these self-pitying words that speak through your monitor of regret and fantasy. The pursuit of happiness. Wasn’t a smile what we were searching for? When did we find ourselves lost in the forest and start heading to the 9th layer? I’m a wanderer. My mind walks away so easily. I’m a ponderer, reflecting upon each second that passed and so I lose each second that comes. This mirror is cold and it displays each of my flaws as if the world could see. They do, and when they don’t I dream about them seeing.

Eyes, the window to your soul. If I could stare into one pair of eyes for eternity, I think I could set myself free. I think the doctor’s diagnosis was chronic loneliness, but I guess they gave it a fancy name called depression, also known as the best friend of anxiety. Tell me what to do, I want to stop thinking. Maybe then I could force the blame on someone else. Taint someone else. Kill someone else. This dreamer finally woke up and realized Neverland never was and romance novels are written by people that are just as lonely as you.

I reach out my hand and it blends in with the darkness that rests in the air, tempting me to close my eyes, to escape again. It feels as if I’ll collapse from the glares over my shoulder and the bags under my eyes. I apologize for the lack of poetic words, maybe you should prescribe a few pills to make me witty while you’ve got the pad out, doctor.

I’m so tired of waking up to new days. It’s 5:00 AM; will you think of me if I think of you?

Rikki [not romance]

Hidden Behind Eyelids, I Confessed My Sins Under A Black Spotlight

If This Wasn’t So Melodramatic, It Would Be A Satire

Our footsteps shrink. Somewhere along the line we turned around and began walking away from one another. Each time I turn around I’m facing another wall. Six sides. I’m packed and sealed in a box, ready to be sent to wherever you head to. Is it alright if I keep chasing you like this? Is it alright if I tie myself to you? What happened to, “I will always be with you?” We’re such horrible liars. You see through each of my glass words and hold my head high; it makes me slip, trip, and sink a little deeper. Those white lies, or fibs as we call them, are causing my eyes to tear up. I’m a sick addict and it’s too late for denial. Oh how concentrical. You’re an angel, baby, and I’d tear off those wings if I thought that would keep you here. For now, I’ll keep believing those two words, though there’s no pain-free guarantee and they’ve never given me anything. For now, I’ll continue to wait in this cage for you and listen to what you say.

Trust me.

Rikki [not romance]

If This Wasn’t So Melodramatic, It Would Be A Satire

Bloodshot Eyes & Silver Fingers

When you let go of your blasphemy, we started to shorten these steps. I’m waltzing across your computer screen in the form of tantalizing words. You fell in love with my big words leading elusive lives and my short, meaning-less words strung together. Those nails are silver like blades of ice, cutting my confidence to pieces and they stain my hands red with misunderstanding. I’m a mistress and whore wearing a facade of cocky words. We’re so similar, yet so out of step. I made your skin into a blanket because your whispers send shivers down my back. Even with your bloody corpse draped across me like a lover, I won’t become yours, will I? I obsess and undress as I sidle up to you.




In my crazy world of black sheep and thunder, you are the most beautiful and yet the most hideous. I folded cranes out of your crestfallen words and watched as they flew away. Always flying away, I’m your horror mixed with a romantic comedy; just add some drama to the mix. Two cups of sugar and three cups of ice, you’re hard liquor on the rocks, babe. It burns as it goes down, but I still crave for more. This is my sin, my taint.



Love, your euphemisms incinerate my tongue.



Rikki [not romance]

Bloodshot Eyes & Silver Fingers

We Were Naive And Naked, Dressed Only In Our Love For Each Other

I’m not a fan of your fallen angel words and the dead don’t deserve our pity. It’s disappointing how easily we change like how we shed our clothes and cross a new threshold. What a poor bulimic girl! I keep spitting out these words that I never meant to say to you. Oh, sorry to say that I lost my interest in you. Those pretty faces never last very long. You’re such a whore, but somehow it doesn’t bother me or my kiss-bruised lips. Excuse me, I guess I just lied to you again, but who ares if it’s a lie anymore. We’re so delusional from the caffeine and lust in our bloodstream.


Oh, sinner sinner! You’re gonna’ burn in hell, kid.


Heart kissed and sealed. I’m the little girl that used to vie for your attention, but we shed that skin a while ago. We littered the magazine covers with our harsh temptation. You’re such a bad liar; you’ll lose your tongue, kid. I wished for something without the courage and I guess I’m fine with that. You can despise me, but we’re meant for one another and this isn’t something you can escape. Keep searching for some support because I’m tired of your indecision. You’re burning up with the fever and I’m burning up all the beautiful words that are only ephemeral, melting all the broken mirrors.


You’ve been wearing that facade for far too long; it’s gotten old and started to crumble away. What was once steel is now just a paper mask filled with bullet-holes. You’re my target, darling, and I hate to tell you, but I never lose.I guess I’m just a bit too good for you. Take me like a pill, I’ll travel through your veins and take your pain away. Don’t betray me and I’ll keep you safe forever. I’m just a bit possessive, avaricious, and bitchy. However I’ve got enough love to fill your veins, arteries, and capillaries, babe.

Rikki [not romance]

We Were Naive And Naked, Dressed Only In Our Love For Each Other

This Iron Heart Is Rusting ‘Cause It’s Always Raining On Our Side Of The Street, Babe

I speak carefully in clichĂ©s and pretty words all strung together. These sinners are giving me a bad name; don’t think that I’m such a suck up. This mix of pain and pleasure is painting a black butterfly. You’ve fallen, oh poor lover boy, but don’t give up so easily. I saved up for fifteen years just to buy this hideousness. Will you give me a kiss sweet sixteen? Twisting your delicate words into harsh reality is my illustrious skill; it’ll drown you in my bleak, jaded reality. So brace yourself and take a few deep breaths; let out those moans you held in because I know I make you scream out.

This loser got nowhere with butterfly wings and melodies. You giggle with a sweet innocence that makes me want to leave a burn across your snow white skin. I’m the nouveau Satan, so will you get sinful with me? You should stop digging holes, ’cause they’re starting to look like graves, kid. This story should of been a tragedy, but with a dash of spice and little less sugar, we’ll make something repulsive. I’d be anything, say anything for you. It’s just gotten so fake from these glass masks. I’ll salute you, baby, for all the trouble you’ve given me.

My thoughts don’t organize, they just collect and overflow out into the airwaves. Speak a little mysterious, little Miss Wisteria. More effort doesn’t always yield better results; we’ve been “trying” at this for far too long. Still you push so hard for a miracle. You’re counting down on roll call intuitions. I’m out of graceful phrases.

Rikki [not romance]

This Iron Heart Is Rusting ‘Cause It’s Always Raining On Our Side Of The Street, Babe

Addicted To Toxin

Stay in this cage of arms
Just for a few more hours,
Until I can rip away these heartstrings
That keep me bound to you.
I’m a poet buying cheap words
To keep the woe out of your heart,
Yet it dances across your lips.
Like my lips keeping you
Safe, sound, and seductive.
Dear, don’t return this letter,
You opened it with ruthless fingers.
Rip away at these heartstrings.
I’m running a high fever from touching you.
(Or is it the anthrax that’s got me hooked?)
Keep it secret, keep it safe.
I’ve left my heart in your care.
Even when the sun starts to shine again
And though the wind keeps blowing;
I’ll release these feeling with
A skip, a hop, and a jump.
Until this fine line blends with
The trails of saliva running down your back.
I travel down these trails,
Leading to the sweetest rose I’ve plucked apart.
I say this with sincerity and utmost conviction,
“We aren’t simply caught up in the romance.”
You’ve left me out and about for far too long;
I’m long gone, rusted away and stale.
Peel away at the barrier of skin until
All of my organs are bare.
I’m running on caffeine and nicotine,
While tripping over my feet.
I’m constantly running back to you,
The illusion left in my heart.

It’s written freely without a picture in my mind. Maybe that’s why I’m such a horrible poet.

Rikki [not romance]

Addicted To Toxin

Purgatory, The One and Only

My lips slide against yours like tears on ice.
This is our deep, dark secret not to be shared.
I’ll embrace you in the dead of night,
So all that is heard are your screams.
Our painful, sinful melody emerges
From the creaks, your moans, and my bittersweet nothings.
Caressing each pore of your skin,
I plead for your reply.

“Give me all that you have.”
All regret is burned away by these
Chemical flames radiating between our bodies.
There are no gods where we lay;
Only you and I remain from this world
That we’ve burned away.

Your restless with the anxiety that
Flows through your veins like a drug.
Can you feel that fever of my fingertips
As they outline a luscious silhouette?
Painting you an alluring shade of rouge
To match the color of your lingerie.
Caressing each pore of your skin,
I plead for your reply.

“Give me all that you have.”
All regret is burned away by these
Chemical flames radiating between our bodies.
There are no gods where we lay;
Only you and I remain from this world
That we’ve burned away.

Just a bit of naughtiness to quench your imagination, though we’ve got more to come. Sin never sounded this good.

Rikki [not romance]

Purgatory, The One and Only