A Drout of Words And A Drop of Blood on the Tongue

I only remember my most embarrassing moments. Please, I beg for forgiveness; just keep me in the back of your mind or forget me. I can’t hit the low notes, but listen please and I’ll sing you your favorite song. This is a vow for change. ‘Cause we’re always spinning the same old song with a sip of cyanide and we hide our hideous smiles. I’m your black-winged angel because the ink spilled when I was writing your love letter and you never wrote back. I’m a reject filled with old toys that you left in the corner of your room to gather dust. Did you throw my meaningless words away into the back of your mind? You’ll never know how much time I spent on those three words. It’s not like you would bother learning about who I was and who I am. I’ll change. I’ll become someone who is satisfied with herself. I’ll become a meaningless word, in a meaningless line, in a song about all the people you used to know. I’m molding away.

Would my stomach cave in if I swallowed all these hateful words? Will they paint me black and leave me to meld with the darkness? We’re always swallowing our words and promising that we’re the best listeners. Do you even know what you wanted to say anymore? My skin is peeling from falling into the fire, but I won’t regret it because for that one moment I knew you. For that one moment, I could taste that small drop of sweat as you walked away. We’re always walking away and I simply let go. I don’t want to let go. Please, hold on to me because the burns hurt because I gripped onto your sleeve until it ripped. I don’t even know my own stoy anymore.

More just give me more. More bitterness. More passion. More care. More of everything that I’m always lacking. Fire away. Until my skull splatters against the ceiling, with a small smile on my face. My ears are ringing from your profession of love in your sleep. It wasn’t meant for me, now was it? I can’t remember my preprepared words; they didn’t survive the microwave. These soul-less smiles are all that’s left. I’ll keep smiling so you never know how much it hurts and you never see the crescent shaped marks on my palm because I hid every word I couldn’t find. I just want to be near you. I promise not to expect to much, so just wipe all my hopeless hopelessness away.

They’re clouding my eyes.

Rikki [not romance]

A Drout of Words And A Drop of Blood on the Tongue

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