It has been a bit since I’ve written anything, hasn’t it? Strangeness has been running in my veins lately. Filling my lungs with hallucinations behind closed
doors eyelids. Behind these irises and flecks of light, we live in a world of only you and me. It may not exist to you, but that is where I always find you. Without a face, you wear the mask of a hero. Strangling the light between dancing fingers, scarred skin, broken doll hands. Senile smirks filled with lust and loss, we hide ourselves from the shadows that we’ve wrapped ourselves in.
Such innocence submerged in bad intentions, I never labeled you as the type to understand. You don’t need to explain, if it’s you and I, we’d make it down every road. I’m terrified and feared. Lying down and watching your face dance across the ceiling. Cold hands holding colder hearts. I know you don’t understand. Soon we’ll be back in our routine of hit and miss, but could we jut stay here for a second. Stay like this. Stay together. Let me hold you until the quaking stops. Let me hold you, just until you bring my weak heart to a stop. You could bring me to a stop so easily.
Who are you? Hiding yourself in the shadows, behind the face of a child. You’re just a child. I could be a child for you. Fake a speck of innocence. Do you understand that I would do anything for you? I’ll believe in your lies, believe in you. Don’t leave me alone. I’m drowning in this fear of darkness. Beauty cracked hiding sins in it’s crevices. Bury my heart within your wounds, I’ll pray that it brings you at least the tiniest bit of relief. I’d consume my mind and breathe out the most beautiful butterflies for you. Such a romantic suicide, you speak of life in death, love and death in the same breath and
it you frighten me.
Could you call me nothing special? I just want to fit in for once. When sleep escapes me, I’ll run into the shadows of my nightmares screaming your name… screaming in the silence. Is this confusion so intrinsic to my life? I’ll hide myself behind these flowers letting the scent reel me in while we fall asleep. Call me and I’d run to everywhere for you. Betray me, restrain me. Is this the pain that is called heartbreak? Or is it love?
Do you love her? I can’t feel. I can’t feel you anymore. This is absolute zero and I’ve disappeared.
Rikki [not romance]