With the sun at our backs, we dove in hand-in-hand. I won’t be afraid, by your side I could face hell itself. We fell, hand-in-hand. Fell head over heels and till our stomaches twisted themselves into knots. By your side, I could suffer forever and I would only feel this painful, yet pleasant feeling. Were we going to emerge from the other side in one piece? This was what keeps me sane, us. One unit. One thing. A we. It’s not just you and me. That’s not the same as what we have. This is something so many falls past that. What do you call this tongue-tied, can’t close my eyes without seeing you, smile for the rest of my life feeling? This purgatory between insanity and elatedness. We could eat ramen all day or just fall to no end. It is not where we are or what we do; if I’m with you, this is all I need. This drowning sensation; I can’t get out. You’ve pulled me in, but I want to stay. I want to stay in this darkness with you, forever.
And before my eyes, your hand is gone. The feeling is gone. All that’s left is the darkness, this endless hole as I fall. For a glance, I see you. There in the jet black mirror. You’re fall through a hole, but you’re not here no matter how hard I search. I feel this cold wetness. Rain. Where did that sun go? The sun that once lit our sky. There, the end of the tunnel. But you aren’t there, you’ve found another fall more worthy of your infinity. There in the mirror, she’s at the end of your fall. Catching you, ready for you to be a we with her. What happened to us? I miss the darkness. Because that was where I could pretend, pretend we were falling. Falling as one. Falling forever. Falling in love.
Rikki [not romance]