Love Like A Bullet Wound, I Can’t Get Enough

4 o’ clock in the morning
It’s not a somber song
As long as you sing it right
He can’t play or write
And he’s always fucking up
When did we trip over our feet?
Broken beat on a beating heart
Sharper sound for a late start
Just like every time you stabbed my back
But every time he turns to me
It speeds up my heart
Just enough to straighten me out
God, why do I allow this?
He is the skeleton key
Opens every door in me
This isn’t the fairytale love
And he ain’t close to charming
But the more flaws you find
The more I can’t understand why
I keep falling deeper in love with him.

Rikki [not romance]

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Love Like A Bullet Wound, I Can’t Get Enough

My Imaginary Romance

With the sun at our backs, we dove in hand-in-hand. I won’t be afraid, by your side I could face hell itself. We fell, hand-in-hand. Fell head over heels and till our stomaches twisted themselves into knots. By your side, I could suffer forever and I would only feel this painful, yet pleasant feeling. Were we going to emerge from the other side in one piece? This was what keeps me sane, us. One unit. One thing. A we. It’s not just you and me. That’s not the same as what we have. This is something so many falls past that. What do you call this tongue-tied, can’t close my eyes without seeing you, smile for the rest of my life feeling? This purgatory between insanity and elatedness. We could eat ramen all day or just fall to no end. It is not where we are or what we do; if I’m with you, this is all I need. This drowning sensation; I can’t get out. You’ve pulled me in, but I want to stay. I want to stay in this darkness with you, forever.

And before my eyes, your hand is gone. The feeling is gone. All that’s left is the darkness, this endless hole as I fall. For a glance, I see you. There in the jet black mirror. You’re fall through a hole, but you’re not here no matter how hard I search. I feel this cold wetness. Rain. Where did that sun go? The sun that once lit our sky. There, the end of the tunnel. But you aren’t there, you’ve found another fall more worthy of your infinity. There in the mirror, she’s at the end of your fall. Catching you, ready for you to be a we with her. What happened to us? I miss the darkness. Because that was where I could pretend, pretend we were falling. Falling as one. Falling forever. Falling in love.

Rikki [not romance]

My Imaginary Romance

Left Hand Lover

Your breath rises
 Like fire through my veins
I can’t just give up
Now can I?
This isn’t a winter song
I’m writing for you in the summer
This is a winter song
I’m writing to forget you
Every thing’s so white and pure
Would my voice carry you away?
Far off like falling leaves
I’m running to escape you
This is a time for
Ring around my neck
Pockets full of magic
A magic we couldn’t see
You can’t keep blaming
This all on me
Let’s play out like a lover’s scene
Waltzing across the movie screen
A beat for breaking hearts
Who’s life are you ruining tonight?
She’s got a Hollywood face
And a camera-ready smile
Was that all you were looking for
A quick fix with “FrEe NaKeD PiX!!!11!!”
Posted all over the internet
I’m the Queen of Dramatics and Asphyxiation
Oh, you could have been my king.

Rikki [not romance]

Left Hand Lover

Prom Night Stopped My Heart And I’m Way Past Breathing

My life is bound in one, two, three. We’re dancing in circles again. One, Two, Three. Snap. It’s all good again, now isn’t it. It’s like every time I get so close, you’re pushing me farther away. Please, don’t push me away. I want some breath in my lungs; I want some blood in my veins. Keep me safe and warm, I’m here for you. Always. Forever more, condemn my love. Tell me we’re fine. But it’s been a year since I’ve seen your face; 31,536,000 seconds without breathing. My face is blue from all this I’m trying not to say to you. I love you. It’s really quite simple, what made this all so hard? I didn’t just wake up one day with the intention to kill, but maybe this is our end. Maybe I was meant for love lost. Maybe days will stop halting and running into my slow motion car crash. One day, maybe I’ll stop these lies and tell you everything and we won’t be so blue.

Your car crash stopped my breathing. Your car crash gave me air. Those bare hands can leave me breathless and take my life away. I’m tired of midnights at a table, in a room alone. Stop leaving me on the floor because you floored me every time. Tie my wrist to the mailbox, I never got a valentine. Who would want to try with me? I’m burning the fire, you washed me away. One, Two, Three. You’re like clockwork, every time you let me down. Ghostly and ghastly, I’m giving up my voice. You would like me better silent.

Taste my sin, you can see it in my eyes. I’d drink up the blue in yours. Like the ocean ever-flowing, did you get away in time? These are the runaway diaries of people that never needed to run; who would I ever run from? Let out the scream you’ve got in your throat, I’ve been screaming my heart out. If I counted all my thoughts of you, I’d be suicidal in love. Maybe you’ve already pushed me that far. You’ve got a mouth for rejection and a heart full of lies to spill. Take off, farewell! You never stayed too long. My eyes are red with conversation, my heart is green with sin. Breathe in, I’m monoxide girl. Killing is my skill. I slaughtered my self, perfect sacrifice. Goodbye is the hardest part.

Goodbye.

Rikki [not romance]

Prom Night Stopped My Heart And I’m Way Past Breathing

Lips Of Poison Forver Sealing This Life In Purgatory

My head is pounding; I think you got in again. You’re driving me up a wall because, god, I’m terrified to just be myself. I don’t do well at meeting new people. I’m odd, awkward, and I just end up dreaming in my thoughts. Just don’t hate, don’t tell me to leave again. I don’t know if this head could take another blow. God, I’m so jealous of you; I don’t even know who I am anymore. Do you know me? Is it possible to truly know someone if they don’t even know themself?




So, new question: everyone has at least one deep dark secret that they just need to scream from the rooftops, right? I guess, I do believe that. But there’s no way I have just one. There’s so many things I feel like screaming. I’m screaming out to you, but you’ll never hear. Every other girl’s lips are just too entrancing and my ungraceful exits have stopped being so humorous; my awkward glances have never gotten your attention; my heart just isn’t an equal exchange for you. Yours is light and innocent, despite whatever taints your mortal figure. I may be as innocent as a child, but this heart holds secrets and shadows, it weighs a million tons. It’s taking me down with it. Leave, you’re better with her. Whomever she may be. I’m so sick and exhausted from this constant state of self consciousness. This is my sercret confession.

Secret #1: I’m terrified I might just get my wish and you’ll all leave me. And just maybe you’ll be better off without me.





I spit lies like the treason I breathe, I’m a time bomb set for your apocalypse. This session is over; you’re not gone. Please, don’t leave me in the dust all over again. Dust is all I breathe. I want to feel beautiful for once. But that will come with my beautiful downfall; you don’t understand these secrets I write. I don’t want you to know, not ever. Because when you understand me, you’ll hate what you find. This person hiding behind the shadows, falling apart at her badly sown seams. This is me. Everything about me. And you’re not the only one that hates it. I killed myself for you and you still hate everything about me. I shouldn’t have meant it, I swear.

Now, whomever didn’t understand why I don’t do so well under social pressures. This is it. I can’t ever say the right thing because I always plan things ahead. Don’t break my heart because person of coal does have one coal heart. Maybe Santa will give it to the right person next Christmas and I won’t fall so hopelessly in hate with this love that I’ve found. I fail at keeping in touch. So please, don’t leave me. Love me, because you’re the only one I’ve got left.

I’m back to square one; I never change. I’m still who I used to be.

Rikki [not romance]

Lips Of Poison Forver Sealing This Life In Purgatory