This is three and a half years all down the drain. And I’m not sure how I feel. Maybe I’m just selfish and jealous, maybe I’m going insane. I’m lonely and I feel like putting myself out there. Is this an allergic reaction? I bang on hearts like doors screaming, “LET ME IN!” I just wanted you to know that you win.
I’m sure you’re gone by now, and I’m sure I’m sick. Maybe you’ll never read this. Is anyone out there? I lost my key in. This is a lose/lose situation. Here’s the biggest trophy for leaving me, I hope you know you’re not the only one. I’ve got accustomed to losing. And I’m used to the pain. I’m tired of writing to no one, this just doesn’t feel the same.
I’m a different body, trapped inside the same skin. You’re red like poison invading my bones and I’m trying to shake it off. I can’t get you out of my mind. Here’s an internal horror movie staring
love lust, lies, and envy. It’s getting tiring to hear inspirational words, like “everything will be fine.” I’m not fine and you’re no where close, I guess we’re losing our minds. But maybe that’s the one thing we’ve got in common.
Tantalizing lies, they mock; they scream; they shout. I’ve got the vocabulary of a five-year old, but I’m cleaning you out. It’s time to live out your words, I’m tired of emptiness. Stop chasing shadows and diving deeper into some anonymous complexity. I’m on my knees, now. You’ve got me begging for you. Just give me something to hold onto because I’m never letting go again.
“Holding onto patience, wearing thin.
I can’t force these eyes to see the end .
If only time flew like a dove,
We could watch it fly and just keep looking up.”
– “Hallelujah” by Paramore