I’ve finally finished my History Day report. It’s pretty exciting since I’ve handed it in. Although, now my teacher is going to be grading it and that’s what I actually care about. Yeah, I’m one of those “nerdies” that obsess over the grade. I was practically shaking when I handed my report in. Oh well, at least there’s one less thing to do for homework. Yeah, my mind is completely on school at the moment. Quite boring, right?
Anyway, I’m pretty exhausted right now. I haven’t had much of a sleeping schedule this week. I haven’t had time to just sit back and look around. Yeah, it’s weird that one of my hobbies is just thinking and looking out a window. I don’t just people watch, I sky watch.
Have you ever felt like I do now? Like no one’s around and no one will be? I just look around and I feel like this is how it always is. Even when I’m surrounded by people, there’s no one. It’s like a onesided mirror. I see them, but we don’t talk, touch, or just recognize that the other is there. I’m a walking corpse for you to make and break. Take me down like a criminal on the run, but just say my name. Could you tell me a story? Tell me that every day is just another day we grow closer. Lies are better than silence. Silence is ringing in my ears. It’s telling me to leave. “Put yourself out there.” Oh, well if no one’s there to receive me, why should I?
I need a friend for always. Not just a temporary acquaintance for every other week. I need my constant. Could you tell me I’m yours? Maybe we could get lost together. Maybe we could be everything we never were. Or could we at least pretend? Play by play, life ain’t your musical. No one sings, but we sure are as corny and more fake than any politician out there. These scars are everything you said they’d be. Oh, your buried in this dead heart of mine.
Liar, do you know who I am? We’ve both been cutting our tongues out. Carve out my mouth and chop off these fingers. I don’t ever want to tell you how I feel. We’ve both been waiting far too long for different things. I can’t tell you everything I wish I could sing to you. Write you a letter with my fake confessional. Truth phone’s on line 1, got something to tell me? Maybe we could scream out in love and say that everyday is another miracle. Because we sure as hell might with all these car-crash night skies.
Less Than Three;
Rikki [is the new lonely]