Laugh And Hope I Believe That You Didn’t Mean It At All

Love and heart break is everything in this world
If not the very air we breathe.
Did we all intend to drive one another crazy with hate?
What once felt so innocent,
Made everyone so bitter.
Sometimes I just don’t care what you say,
It’s possible to breathe in the romance.
But this world is so alluring and lying,
Don’t ever think that you’re sure about me.
You may just find a mirror behind these eyes
And I may just break you down.
I want that call after we close our doors,
Where all you wanted to say was
“I love you.”
Those days where you make me feel as if
Childhood was just a speck against this bliss.
They call me a hopeless romantic
Not just because I’m a hopeless cause,
But because love may be more hopeless than me.
Honestly, this world ain’t so pretty.
So grab your guns and we’ll paint the sky red.
Don’t forget, I’ll be the best you ever had.
Romantics are just sweet little girls too scared to grow up,
They’ve got no idea what a bitter world they’re facing.
Lock this smile behind an envelope and seal,
I’ll send it to the boy next door.
“I must apologize, miss, but your letter was misplaced in the mail.”
We’re losers on a team that just wants to win.
Have you got a cure for shame?
“Baby”, “Honey”, “Sweetie”… did you just forget my name?
Are you watching all the “Brittany”s and “Pamela”s pass?
Sorry, I maybe I asked Santa for a little too much this year.
Let’s bury my heart underneath a brightly lit tree,
I hope you like you gift this year,
I made it just for you.

“So we’re talking forever and
You almost feel better,
But better’s no excuse for tonight.
You see it’s never bad enough
To just leave or give up,
But it’s never good enough to feel right.”

Laugh And Hope I Believe That You Didn’t Mean It At All

Like A Polar Bear In The African Desert

Life has calmed down a bit. It’s like the snow brings light and peace as it makes the world a snow cone. We made up and things are slowly becoming normal again. Although somehow, I feel like this is the worst time of my life. I’m smiling and laughing, but I feel like my mask may even be fooling myself. I feel out of place.

Acpella Club, which I’m in, is performing tomorrow. We’re just singing a Christmas song. I’ve been singing my heart out to you this whole week, yet you haven’t been on my mind. Six hours of sleep in a span of four days, maybe I’ve lost my sanity. Sleep lost its point to me; I must’ve gotten better at debating. But my eyelids are like the moon, switching around and making my brain pound with a headache. Are you aware of how much you confuse me?

I’ll be taking exams soon. Arabic should get ready for my lawsuit; the class is abusing. All I know is “Ah-in-dee al mush-mush”, meaning “I have the apricot.” Oh how impressive! My sister’s college acceptance letter should nearing its due date. I’m just not ready for Christmas. Summer used to be my backdrop, but then they spilt the white paint.

Mandarin oranges and a can of Diet Coke, I can only hope they’ll cure my doubts. I miss those late nights where I played my bass till four in the morning and slept the entire day. Those days where I spent hours just staring out my window. Hopes, they’re what I run on now. I hoped that this age would be my year, apparently my lucky number failed me.

The hospital bed ate your confidence, maybe if you started trying again you could get it to spit it out.

“Fed up with ‘made you look’
And dirty crooks without a clue.
They all wear the same face
And it says, ‘Hangman, I’m on to you’.”

Like A Polar Bear In The African Desert