For Better Or For Worse, You’re My Star And I’m Behind The Scenes

I can feel it again. The little tingling feeling, but now it’s calling for help. Asking for someone for a resurrection, and there’s nothing I can say or do. It’s over. Our tragic Romeo and Juliet cover song has played the last note. She loves him more than her heart beats, and I don’t even know him.

I want a boy that makes me smile and laughs at me just so when I frown he can make my face stretch into the biggest smile this world’s ever seen. I want a cliche love story that’ll sweep me off my feet. I want a boy that actually, for once, feels the same. I want a boy that’s not dating a prettier, smarter, nicer girl and not my friend. I want a boy that will understand this simple complexity that’s me. I want a boy that stands out in the rain with me and watches a chick flick marathon when we’re down with the flu the next day. I want wanted him.

He’s in love with her. And if it’s not her, then it’s someone else. But if he was with someone else, it wouldn’t hurt this much. Because it’s her, even if I could compare… there’s no chance. She’s my friend and I’m this hideous, horrible, imperfect as you can get girl.

I need someone that I can talk to on the phone at three in the morning, while I sob out every tear behind these glazed over eyes.

There’s no one there anymore. I don’t care if you think I’m some stupid, emo bitch. Maybe I am. But that racing pace of heart just went down to a straight line, just like when I saw you sitting on the bench and making out with her. Just like every time she bitched about you. I didn’t believe you could actually feel your heart break until you started going out with her. I love No one loves me. I’m ready to start the give up cycle, where we all die to perfectly ordinary common time. What’s wrong with me? Am I really so obviously flawed? Because I feel like the broken mirror that once thought it was great because that’s what everyone was saying, but they were saying it to themselves after all. And finally that perfect one came along and I saw the truth through shattered silver slivers.

It’s time to drop the gun, because you can’t cure this heartache without taking a few bullets.

“There are no raindrops on roses or girls in white dresses.
It’s sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses
At the shade of the sheets before all the stains
And a few more of your least. Favorite. Things.”

For Better Or For Worse, You’re My Star And I’m Behind The Scenes

Stick Your Head Into Fire, Maybe Then You’ll Have A Reason To Be So Emo

Damn, idiots. I’m just reading along on the Panic! messageboard because I’m a loser with the face of a sinner and the life of a virgin. And just about every thread is just “OH EM GEE! I LUV U BRADNEN!” or “HUH RYAN WLIL U MRRAY ME!” uh… no? I mean, isn’t it about time we all wipe away the clouds from our eyes and just get real. No, you aren’t going to marry any of the band members you whore. It’s just not real. They aren’t ever going to just pull you out of the crowd at their concerts and spontaneously proclaim their love for you. And there’s even less of a chance they’re going to pop out of your computer screen with a 2 million dollar diamond ring for you. Hey, if it ever does happen, send me a letter and I will personally send my apologies… and ask for a postcard from your honeymoon.

I’m not saying you can’t like their music or buy their merch or what not. I mean, I’d be quite the hipocrite (which i technically am) if I said you couldn’t like their lyrics or whatnot. What I’m saying is, it’s pathetic and a bit sad when all these teenage girls decide they are dedicating their life to trying to marry some mamber of some chart-topping band. And you have to have some sympathy for the members of the band that have to deal with the constant screaming of how “hawt” they are, rather than praises on the incredible job they did on their album or what your favorite line from this song was. But also, it’s just corrupting the band’s mind into thinking their the shizznit or some shit like that. Then you all just complain about them selling out and shit like that. Well, IT’S YOUR FAULT! So, go and marry some boy/girl that you actually know and like rather than some rockstar you see in the tabloids.

I understand that there’s a time when every little girl… and maybe little boy has a crush on some celebrity, but I also know that eventually, you have to just let go of it. So, just move on, please? For the sake of the music and social scene, just move on!

Life (noun): Somewhere that you act, live, and breathe the social scene.

“In this town, don’t we love it now?
Everybody’s waiting for the next surprise
Round that corner, man hiding in the trash cam
Something’s waiting no to pounce, and how you’ll…
Scream! This is Halloween
Red ‘n’ black, slimy green.

Stick Your Head Into Fire, Maybe Then You’ll Have A Reason To Be So Emo

Forever, You Will Always Be My Sweetest Scar

I feel so clueless and cold.
I feel broken and old.
Did you hear my cries of angst or laughter
That’s what we call it now,
But it isn’t, is it?
Will you carry on without me
And erase my face from your mind?
I can’t do the same
You’ll always be here with me.
You are my sweetest scar.

I keep thinking of him, like his face is implanted in my mind again. What happened to falling out of love? And forgetting those bats that flutter like butterflies? You never knew me and I still wish I knew you for a brief second like she’ll always know you. It’s okay, you can let go. If you had anything in the first place… I’ll try my best to keep my eyes from getting lost in yours and my heart from beating a mile a minute when she’s in your arms.

Send my heart to the dancefloor and let’s dance this heartache away.

My birthday’s tomorrow, my lucky number, and all I want is you. It’s like Christmas, another empty wish. They’ll all be visiting their soul-mates and I’ll sit on the ceiling watching it all pass by. You’re just a passerby. Will I notice you on a sidewalk ten years from now? And when I walk past you, will you pine for me as I do now? I know you’ll still be with her and I’ll still be alone. But maybe this year will be different and I’ll write a song to sing to you that won’t make you throw up. Or maybe I should just drop this face and settle down for the monster inside this head.

I’m just the girl that always does as she is told.

Good things don’t happen to good people. They happen to the people better than you. Bad things happen to those who help others when they’re betrayed and left behind. They’re all two thousand light-years away and they’re not stopping anytime soon. So, I’ll sit down on this cold ground and wallow in my misery. Let’s all go emo.

If suicide is so selfish, I must be boughtfish.

“And we’ll march along, with our blindfolds on
And we’ll ride the rails, with our pistols drawn
Can the Lord above, forgive what we’ve done?
Can we fight to save our souls?”

Forever, You Will Always Be My Sweetest Scar