Built Me To Fake A Smile&&Built You To Break It Down

Okay, so school actually just started this week. Nothing’s really too bad. My spanish teacher is probably now borderline homicidal due to our lack of intelligence. But you know, that’s what happens when you teach my class! I have to wake up at godly hours in the morning for tomorrow just because my school’s going to be on one of the early morning talk shows. How can I wake up at five o’ clock in the morning if I go to sleep at four o’ clock. Goddd, retardos! For some reason I have become completely infatuated with that word. Retardos… hahaha, wow.

So, how was your week? If anyone actually reads that without me nagging to them on AIM about reading my rants because no one gives a shit about my like, I am nearly certain the horsemen will begin their ride from the sky and thunder will strike the Earth; therefore ending all existance of humans. Anyway, for once I’m not in that much of a fucked up, PMS-ish, emo mood today. I do have a bit of a rant, as always. But it’s just a baby rant, so don’t run away just yet.

Well, my friend and I had a little challenge last night. She said that she thinks it’s impossible for me to write a something bad. So, I wrote her a bad poem… and she liked it! And therefore, I am holding a poll to convince her it’s horrible.

Cue the poem…

[No title]
Car wash
For Trees

Flush a toilet
It goes flush
Can’t find a toilet
Pee in a bush
Or on a Bush works too.


So, wasn’t it dreadful? Pathetic? A sad excuse for a poem? Well, so far I have: 2 votes for good;; 1 vote for bad.

Anyway, now to close up this entry… drum roll, por favor! [See I don’t know what my Spanish teacher is talking about! I can sooooo speak Spanish!] Cue lights, camera… RANT! Remember, I’ll give you a bit of a vacation without my bitching with my baby rant.

Well, I’ve just gotten so annoyed with my friend. I mean, her boyfriend is a complete jerk to her and she just keeps forgiving him and believing him. Helloooo! He’s not even that great of a liar. Maybe I’m just completely insensitive and a monster inside-and-out, but I just don’t see any of it. Worst of all? This case of cooties has spread into an epidemic! My best friend has even caught it! I guess I’m just jealous in a weird, screwwed up way. Not jealous of who they have, just of what. I mean, I had one completely head-over-heels crush. That was probably the worst time in my life. The starry-eyes and the cliche questioning of, “Does he like me?”, “Am I good enough?” and all that complete crap. Maybe I’m just bitter, but that hurt like hell when I looked into the eyes and finally realized. No, you’re NOT good enough for him. No, you’re NOT who he likes. No, he does NOT think you’re pretty. And no, he’s NOT at all who you believe and wish he was.

I guess it’s just not even worth it all. I will admit that maybe deep down inside I still do miss those bats in my stomache everytime I saw him online; and I guess from time to time I still do miss feeling like maybe in some weird, impossible twist of fate… he might just like me back. That little school girl feeling made me feel so tall and great that the fall out [of love] was worse than physically falling. Love just isn’t worth the effort anymore. If everyone was really meant for that happy ending, wouldn’t I have a Prince Charming too? Or am I just that disgusting to cause him to run away from his own Damsel in Distress?

Make believe places where the good girl gets her perfect Sixteen Candles wish will push you off that suicidal diving-board cliff.

“I’ve been jumping from the tops of buildings
For the thrill of the fall ignoring sound advice
And any thought of consequence
My bones have shattered
My pride is shattered
And in the midst of this self inflicted pain
I can see my beautiful rescue

I’m falling more in love with every single word I withhold
I’m falling more in love with every single word you say
I’m falling head over heals for you.”

Built Me To Fake A Smile&&Built You To Break It Down

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