Have you ever fet between friends? You know, the place where you’re not sure who you want to win or lose. And the worst part, they’ll forever be in war. Both have their pros and cons, and I just don’t know who has more pros. First I feel completely sickened by one of them, then suddenly the table turns and I can’t even think of the other.
The truth: I don’t think I can’t stand either of them.
I know, I know… why am I friends with people that I really don’t want to ever speak to again? Truthfully, it’s because I don’t want to be alone. That’s the core of all my fears. Sure, I’m terrified of spiders. But what’s the worst they could do? Bite you, infect you with their poison that results in your death in the end. Yeah? But if you die with people who truly love you, what’s so bad about it?
It’s better to be loved at one time then never being loved at all.
Exactly my point. These times make me think, who do I really have? Is there really anyone that I would truthfully reveal my every secret to without even one miniscule doubt in my mind afterwards? At this moment, it feels like my mind’s screaming back, “no!”
And sometimes it hurts, because I have all these people that trust me to keep their secrets and I just feel like I’m about to explode. There’s only so many secrets you can bottle up befre everything just comes falling down to crush you six feet under.
It’s like everyone said, “Secrets don’t make friends.” But actually, it’s the badly kept secrets that make enemies.
“Fix me to a chain around your neck,
Wear me like a nickel
Even new wine served in old skins cheapens the taste,
I shot the pilot,
I’m begging you to fly this for me,
I’m here for you to use, broken and bruised,
Do you understand?”