Living In Mirrors Of Dreams

From when the first little girl fell asleep to bedtime stories, there has been the ideal fairytale of the perfect house with the white picket fence, pool, maybe even overlooking a beach or ocean, children playing in the front or backyard, and of course… Prince Charming. The perfect man, he: stands up for you; tosses the footballs to your son [or daughter]; brings you flowers when he comes home from work; has a steady job; doesn’t drink, smoke, or do drugs; plans romantic evenings even after you have children; kills the bugs and opens jars; is incredibly attractive personality wise and physically; and of course, loves you more than anything in existence. The flaws to those stories? There is of course no perfect Prince Charming. These once quaint, little fairytales soon become something most girls come to expect in their boyfriends as teenagers. And slowly turn to nightmareish cliffs for their high hopes to take a suicidal dive off of.

Okay, maybe I’m being a bit over dramatic. But that was is me. The little hopeless romantic that just wants everything to end with a black slide reading in beautiful calligraphy, “Happily Ever After- The End”. I want everyone to be happy. Maybe that’s a flaw of mine. I’m always fussing over my friend’s relationship with so-and-so that later I find myself alone in my room at 2 in the morning wondering, “Where’s my boy to stay up with me until the early hours of the morning just talking on the phone?” Did he just walk past me on the street while I was to busy trying to help Sally Who-Ha with her boyfriend that supposedly cheated on her? I know, “You’re still young! You’ve got time to find that Prince when you’re older!” But if this continues? Where do I end up? Alone in a house with no one to laugh with me as we stroll though the park.

No one.

The blunt truth. Maybe I’m afraid of love. I mean, all I hear about is boyfriends and all their conniving ways, how they complicated a once brilliant friendship. How can you continuously hear this beating on boyfriends and not be intimidated the least bit or at least a bit detracted?

But if I continue to simply ignore the nonexistant romance in my life, what happens to the Prince Charming? Does he find his Damsel In Distress in the next town over and leave me hanging in the dust?

It just worries me that I might never find that someone. The one that makes my knees shake when I see him; that makes my stomache ache with bats flying around when he notices me in the least bit; that keeps me swooning and returns the favor. It’s like a bad episode of Sex And The City. But Carrie will most likely finally find someone in the end and get that closing slide. Me? We might just have to wait and see.

I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t want your sympathy.

“One of us never did it but we’re taking it all.
And tell me why you never promised that you wanted it all.
And her eyes never batted when she said it
It’s a long night, hoping knowing…”

Living In Mirrors Of Dreams

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